Thursday, May 1, 2014

Why I Hired Help & Don't Feel Guilty About It

The decision to hire someone to help out with household chores was YEARS in the making.   Ever since I went back to work after Ruby was born (if you do the math, that'll be 5 years ago), I just never felt like I could keep my house looking the way I wanted it to.  I would literally do the bare minimum to keep the house as presentable as possible.  I swept numerous times a day, dusted whenever I could... but truth is the floor didn't get mopped every week, sometimes it would be 2 or 3 weeks before I could really SCRUB the bathroom (it would get a quick cleaning a few times a week)...


I was embarrassed about having anyone over.  If I knew someone was coming, I'd make a mad dash to get the place cleaned to a higher standard... not that anyone, besides me, would probably even notice the dust on the baseboards or those pesky finger prints all over the windows... 

Even though I could never get my house cleaned the way I wanted, I was ALWAYS cleaning. Or so it seemed.  I'm not rich.  Only rich people hire help. I'm not lazy either... would people think I was lazy if they found out?  I just couldn't do it.

"Can we go for a bike ride, Mommy?" 
"Sorry, not right now.  Mommy has to do dishes & sweep the floor first"

"Can we go to the park"
"Sorry sweetie, Mommy's doing laundry..."

I can't be the only one who feels tremendous mommy guilt when I have to tell my kids I can't spend time with them... with a full-time job during the week, photography on the weekends, chores, errands, appointments... there just weren't enough hours in a day to get it all done... and I know I suffered.  My children suffered for it too.

About a month ago, I sucked up all my pride and hired help.

A woman comes in once a week for about 3 hrs... and my house feels CLEAN.  I love it.  It's the best decision I ever made!! I've been able to spend more time with my family, and the stress of knowing I'm not able to keep it up is GONE!  I still have to maintain it during the week... But it is such a weight off my shoulders.

For anyone out there who felt like I did, I would highly recommend getting help!  There's no shame is not being able to do it all!!

3 Tips To Keep In Mind:

1. Do your budget.  Depending on the size of your home, and the work you need help with, costs can vary.
2. Get referrals and interview the person (or service) yourself.
3. Be clear with your expectations of what you want done.  The lady I hired will not be doing my laundry or stripping& making beds, for example.


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16 comments

  1. This is such a good idea, and one I have been tossing around for a while now. I just can't seem to keep up with keeping the house up!
    Lori

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  2. This is totally not something you should feel guilty about at all. And, your providing a job, which benefits someone besides your own family! I think the expectations for women to "do it all" are needless. My family had a househelper for a few years during an especially busy season of our lives--if you can afford it, it's a blessing!

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  3. I agree with Rachel, if you can afford it then why the heck not? Work and motherhood is a hard thing to balance, and it’s way more important for you to invest time in your children than the state of your bathroom or carpets. So pleased you have been able to get some help! x

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  4. I really need to look into our budget to see if we can so this sometime soon. There are a couple of jobs around the house that both the hubby and I both HATE doing, so they are put off way too long. Anything to free up more time to play with the kids is worth it!

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  5. So glad to hear you are enjoying the service!! Best decision we ever made! Enjoy your extra time to be with you family!

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  6. How is this any different than hiring someone to mow your lawn or change the oil in your car? My mom always had help for childcare and housework. I have a friend from Sweden who said that wasn't acceptable there because a woman should be a Super Woman and be able to do everything. Yeah...perfection is way over-rated in my book.

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  7. I have been begging my husband for years for a cleaning service. Not for the every day chores like laundry or dishes, but for the weekly stuff: toilets, floors, windows, etc. I would LOVE that. I try to tell my husband that he does nothing, and I can't even keep up with the day to day stuff, so how am I supposed to do the REAL cleaning?

    The only thing that's keeping me from pulling the trigger is the trust factor. I wouldn't be home while they clean, so I would need someone perfectly trustworthy, and I haven't found that person yet.

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  8. Dude I'm single without kids and I'd love help! There should be NO guilt associated at all. The conversations just happen in my head :) "Brooke, you feel like painting..." Sorry can't have to vacuum, etc. A day will come that I can fit it into my budget and you can bet that I'll be all over it like a fat kid on a smartie :)

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  9. Good for you! I'm trying to talk my husband into a once or twice a month thing where they can clean what I just hate/get overwhelmed by. No luck so far ;o)

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