Thursday, August 8, 2013

Things I Don't Love : Autism Sucks :



I'm linking up for the first time ever with Lulu & Sweet Pea for Things I Don't Love Thursdays.

There are TONS of stuff that irk me, but there is one thing in particular that I've been wanting to get off my chest for a while now.

Autism.
It sucks.

I love my son, and he is who he is... I wouldn't change that, really.  His quirks are what make him ''him.''  But he can be... draining.

For those that don't know our story, Memphis was diagnosed as high functioning autistic in 2012 at 
the age of 6.  The diagnosis (along with ADHD & Anxiety issues) was a relief.  We *knew* what we were dealing with and that was such a weight off my shoulders.  It never changed how much we loved him, obviously.   If anything, him being *different* just made me love him even more.  

Always one to look on the bright side of things, I figured we were given this special child because we were strong enough to deal with it.

But I haven't been feeling strong lately.

He is attending a day camp 3 days a week and we are struggling.  It is so important for him to participate in social activities, but the people there, as much as they are willing to learn aren't really equipped or knowledgeable on how to deal with autistic children... Memphis has certainly thrown them for a loop.

My days are spent worrying about how he's doing, and if we've made the right choice in sending him there.  I work at an insurance compnay during the day and find myself drifting off with thoughts of ''if he can't even handle day camp, how are we going to get through the second grade!?''

Our nights are spent amusing him, disciplining him and trying to get him to bed at a decent hour.
We have our good days and bad days, and I admit... those bad days are hard.
I've cried, alone in my room, more than once.

Any other autism mamas out there?  How do you get through the especially rough patches?
I mean, really.... autism doesn't define who Memphis is.  It just kinda sucks sometimes.


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11 comments

  1. I don't deal with autism but you are a strong Momma and you are probably doing everything perfectly. *BIG HUGS* to you!!

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  2. I had no idea you were a warrior mom!! I was an ABA therapist for many years with autistic children untIl I decided to stay home and then start my store! If you ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask! I know many people in this field and a lot of resources!

    Xo,
    Carole
    Owner/ pipley vintage

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  3. hi there...im a mama of a 7 yr old aspergers son.i relate to everything u wrote here!i love my son desperatley, and i even love many of his traits that are definitely 'autistic' but its hard, and at times it sux.i have always been spontaneous and carefree, but since mr 7 started school i have become a worrier. when his with us at home, it can be hard...but when hes not with us its even harder, most if the world no matter how well meaning just 'dont get it.' some of the ways i 'cope' (hahaha) are:being creative,i wtite a nlog about creative stuff where i never mention my kids, and ive felt thats a really free space me to remember who else i am, seeing a counselor and catching up with another mum of an autistic child semi regularly, becoz we both get it!supportive friends and fam too...although even with all that love its amazing how alone u can feel in this parenting journey.thanks for ur post, its nice to feel not alone! mezz x

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  4. Yes yes yes! As a teacher who mainstreams children on the spectrum in the upper grades......you are a CHAMP and an amazing mom for sending him to camp. I'm sure it's hard, for him and you. As long as he's in a place where he's ready, this while help him a TON. I can only imagine the worry you feel, I worry about my students.....and they're not even my own children.
    I have so much respect for parents of children with Autism, it's a constant challenge. But the rewards? Endless. Please know, as a teacher.....I can see which children have received that parental support and encouragement and it does make a HUGE difference.
    If there's anything I can do to help from the school / structural / classroom environment and strategies standpoint.....feel free to email me, I've gotten a ton of training and hands on experience with this and am pretty passionate about it!

    Carly
    www.lipglossandcrayons.com

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  5. I had no idea you were an autism mama! Wow- you ARE strong. I complain & get stressed out over situations with my kids already as it is, so I can't imagine adding autism on top of that! Seriously, not everyone could handle something like that so I'm very proud of you for doing so and for wanting to do your very best for your son. Stay strong mama- sounds like you have a pretty good support system :)

    Thanks for linking up too, btw :)

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  6. One of my good friends is an all-day educator/therapist to a severely autistic boy. Over the course of 3-4 years she has brought him from being completely non-verbal, to being integrated into school, forming full sentences and able to express affection to his family members. I know how much this job has demanded of her, so I have a lot of respect for you and the daily struggles you must face. Hoping that you can find other educated, informed people to help you along this journey, I'm sure you're not meant to face it alone!

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  7. Our son's journey has been made lighter by great social skills therapy groups. It has saved us. I also have a best friend that is also a mama of a boy with autism. We met through our boys' therapy. It is so good to have someone who understands the challenges even though our boys struggle differently. You are doing an amazing job!

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  8. There are definitely good times and bad ones with my high functioning autistic son. To me it's a constant learning curve with my son. Things that used to work with him stop working. And things that used to be difficult sometimes become easier. My son had a hard time his first year at Cub Scout camp, but then the following years got easier. Now he's getting to the age where the boys camp overnight and it's hard again. But I know we can adjust and find a way to help him.
    You're definitely not alone.

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  9. Just found you and this post via.. what you were wearing Wednesday.. funny.. I have 3 boys.. 2 on the spectrum...I hear you!
    All you both need is LOVE.. and although autism doesn't feel lovey when it is difficult..or sucky.. it essentially IS the way to be more loving.. being completely accepting of our children and our circumstances paves the way for the rest of the world to do the same..
    I hear ya!
    Rowing beside you.


    Joyfully His.
    Joy Foster

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  10. Hi there! I don't even know if you will see this but I just came across your blog and have been stalking it all day! It's like a great book that I can't put down. I love your style, your hair, your writing! Everything! Your simply adorable! I have a 7 yr old son, Paddie who is autistic and ADHD as well. It is very draining and it does suck sometimes! But... I believe they are here to teach us something. Many nights I have cried as well, heck let's be honest I have literally dropped tears in public! Ha! I imagine if we lived near each other we would be great friends! 30 something mommas with style and grace! Love to you and your sweet family!!! - Heather

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