Monday, March 12, 2012

an update

I had a moment and thought I'd  update everyone on how things are going with Memphis lately....

Right now his anxiety levels are at an all-time high.
He's afraid of everything, and worries about every.single.decision he has to make.
The poor kid can't even go to the bathroom or sleep alone anymore.
It's heartbreaking.

I've been told it's "normal" at this age for some kids to become more "afraid" of certain things.  And, as with most of his behaviours lately... what is normal for some, seems to be exaggerated for him.
No amount of reassurances from us can ease his worries.
He cannot stand to be left alone in a room by himself.
And he needs to be right near us all the time... curled up into our arms when possible (mostly at night).
We saw the psychiatrist again a couple weeks or so ago.  His anxieties were apparent during the meeting, and our best plan of action right now is to be as predictable as possible for him.
We are not increasing his daily medication until he starts sleeping better at night.
In the words of the doctor... we don't want to medicate a "sleepy" mind.
We are giving him something to help him sleep... but he fights even those.
A nice warm bath, wrapped in a hot towel, and then extra cuddles from us seem to work just as well!
Those moments when he begs me to put my arms around him because he's scared, terrified, nearly bring me to tears.  Nothing hurts my heart more than to not be able to keep him from being scared.
But, all that being said...  he has great moments too.
He still finds joy in a lot of things.  He's happy.  He tells us he loves us.  He's so, so bright.  He's funny.
We just love him to pieces.

We are really, really looking forward to getting answers soon... I know, I keep saying that... but it's true.  Other than a diagnosis of ADHD (which is only the tip of the iceberg) nobody knows exactly how to help him and it's beyond frustrating.
He goes to school half days right now, and spends most of the morning in a seperate classroom one-on-one with his aide.  Even though his classroom time is almost nil, he continues to be at the top of the class academically!  Imagine!?
He's reading to us now.
I've even caught him trying to teach Ruby how to sound out the letters & put them together to figure out the word.
He's amazing.
I know some of you have been following along with our story & struggles with Memphis, and I've appreciated the kind words, advice & virtual hugs I've received.  For anyone that is new, I hope this post wasn't off-putting.  I just wanted to write a little about what is going on right now... please send some good vibes & prayers our way!

Right now we are waiting on a referral to have him evaluated by a team of psychologists& psychiatrists in the city... I will keep you all posted!

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  1. Awww...prayers, I understand, my son has apraxia, but he is the brightest, sweetest little boy. It is hard to see your kids go through things you can't fix. Praying for you and your adorable little guy.

  2. You are one strong mama Lena! I'll say some prayers for him and your family! I hope someone can figure something out for him soon.

  3. I feel for you Lena. It's so hard to not be able to just "fix" them. My Gavin has some developmental delays and we are going through therapy and fighting to get more hours and getting through reports and evals and all that comes along with it. Sending prayers that your little one will find some comfort and peace as well as you both too.

  4. You are on my mind and in my prayers. I am hoping for answers and a great plan of action to help sweet Memphis.

  5. Memphis is going to pull through this, I got all faith in that little man! I can see it in his eyes that he is most definitely a fighter.

    Reading to Ruby? That is FANTASTIC. I love it!

    Answers will come when they're ready, don't give up hope!!

    Remy / Cinnamon Bubbles

  6. sounds like you have an amazing little man on your hands! I its so wonderful that he's doing well academically and how great is it that he's helping Ruby with her reading!

    I was given a link a while back to a really wonderful site to help with anxiety. The entire top half of this page is for parents who are helping their kids, check it out and see if it can give you any ideas on how to help him cope :)

    positive thoughts from me to you! xoox

  7. I don't think I came across anything about Memphis before, I may be wrong, I forget stuff all the time. :) Aleshanee has some of the same issues. She has never been able to be in any space alone, she's would need to be clinging to me all the time or be carried or held. She never sat in a stroller and we would need to force her screaming thrashing body into her car seat and she would scream the whole drive once was 1-1/2 hours. As she is getting older it's a little better but she is shy and anxious most times as school or around new surroundings. She still needs me to sit in her room with her until she falls asleep which has Dakota and Hayden needing the same thing now when otherwise they wouldn't have needed me to. Some days she refuses to go to school and fights me, won't get on the bus. It's become less now but the episodes are major. I'd love to hear more about what you are going through.

  8. Lena,
    Thank you for sharing this journey. I hope and pray that soon you will find other tools to comfort Memohis like the warm towel.
    This has to be so hard on all of you. Mammas like to fix things lickety split, but sometimes we just can't. Hang in there we are all sending virtual hugs today!

    1. Haha! Spelled my name wrong. That will teach me to read and cook at the same time!!
      You know it was me!

  9. Wow, what a hard road you all must be traveling. I hope Memphis is able to find the right help he needs to flourish in all aspects of his life. I'll send lot of good vibes your way!

  10. I'm saying a special prayer for you guys tonight. You are truly an inspiration and it's so awesome that you've shared your story and jouney here. I am quite positive that you have touched people you don't even know about. Stay strong and sending you lots of love and hugs.

  11. So sorry to hear....I know how that can feel. I too really fight anxiety and fear at times... and it seems to be worse at night when I know I am tired. I will put you guys on my prayer list.

  12. Good luck with everything! I hope the doctors can help you find what's best for all of you and help your sweet little boy get some peace :)

  13. Sending lots of positive vibes and prayers to your family. Keep fighting for your boy, he's lucky to have you!!

  14. Oh my goodness, I had no idea, Lena. My heart breaks for your sweet boy. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you to see your baby in emotional pain and be able to do so little to help. I'll be praying for y'all! *HUGS*

  15. That doesn't suprise me that Memphis is so intelligent. Jason has adha as well and is very brilliant. Jason had a horrible childhood, but as he grew he learned to cope. He wanted me to let you know that from what we have read that you are doing everything right, and looking at this situation the exact way you should. People with ADHD are unique because they tend to be highly intelligent. Keep remembering that, and one day Memphis will pick up on that feeling and grow to be more comfortable with himself.


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